Ask Olga! Uncategorized

Olga Gives Advice To 3 People With Relationship Issues

DEAR OLGA

I have OCD and I can't figure out how to stop riding my 2 sons and husband. I know I am overdoing it, and I know my irritation has to be making them unhappy. I don't like when hubby cooks and doesn't do the dishes, but I don't like to cook myself because it leaves a mess. How do I relax about everything and not make my kids nervous wrecks? Cindy

Dear Cindy,

nagging womanSometimes you’ve got to be cruel to be kind. I mean me, not you. 
OCD, is a condition that can make you obsessive and/or compulsive. It doesn’t make you a nag and it doesn’t entitle you to shirk your responsibilities.

There is a standard deal that is considered to be reasonable. The one who cooks, doesn’t clean. You are lucky that your husband cooks. When he does, show him some appreciation and clean up. Your sons can help. Put on some music and make it fun. You set the tone. Focus on enjoying that time with your sons. 
Talk with your husband and share the load. Show your sons how a good marriage works. Be a responsible partner. 

You are the only one who can control your behavior. You have the strength to acknowledge that your behavior could use some improvement. It’s probably a combination of things that are bugging you. 

Don’t worry about how to stop riding the guys. Just stop it. 
As soon as you do, things will go more smoothly. You will feel better about yourself and your family will notice and want to encourage you with more cooperation. Then you can figure out what’s really getting on your nerves and resolve it. 
Sincerely,

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DEAR OLGA

I've started dating a guy that I really like but my friends think that he's bad news. He invited me to dinner and when the check came, he cried because he couldn't afford it. He felt horrible and really beat himself up about it. I thought that it was honest and touching, so I was happy to pay the bill. My friends think it's a scam. What do I do? Janie

Dear Janie,

Run for the hills. A man who invites you to dinner and CRIES when the check arrives is not a suitable companion. 

Here’s what we say in Russia. He who can’t pick up a tab, can’t extend a dinner invitation. 
If you want to hire a man for a little slap and tickle, so be it. It’s 2016. Just don’t get emotionally involved and please be safe. Remember, you aren’t supposed to kiss prostitutes on the mouth. 

Sincerely,

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DEAR OLGA

My boyfriend disappears into the bathroom for an hour every night after dinner. He takes his phone or his iPad every time. I can't tell if he has a medical condition or if he's avoiding me. When I go in to check on him he blows up at me and acts like I'm intruding. What's going on? Sarah

My Sweet Little Sarah,

Congratulations, it’s a boy. Men can be very devoted to their bathroom rituals. When you share your life with a man, you can share a home and friends and children but bathrooms are always a problem. 
They don’t understand why our stuff takes up so much space and we can’t understand why their visits take up so much time. 

After a long day at work, most men need to decompress before they can focus on their partners. It’s just a gender thing. 

They’re usually quicker about it if you leave them to it. Never, ever, burst in on them. They don’t respond well to that. 

There are some ways in which men and women are just different. Don’t take it personally. As long as he puts the seat down the majority of the time, you have nothing to worry about. 

Sincerely,

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